So I had my usual 9:00 Monday morning appt with my OB/GYN. I ran around like a chicken with it's head cut off so I could leave for the doctor as soon as I got the kids on the bus. My clothing options are EXTREMELY limited these days due to the fact that I refuse to blow money on maternity clothes. My usual black stretch pants with the bleach stains were not clean, nor were any underwear that I could actually get over my ass. I opted for my other foolproof bottom option, a knee length stretchy skirt that folds down at the waist and fits me perfectly. (Well as perfect as clothes can fit when it looks like your smuggling baby elephants and a midget family under your shirt.)
I put the kids on the bus, stopped at the post office and ended up at the doctor by 8:45. My OB is located on a main road in Hamilton right next to a YMCA. While walking up the ramp to the office a fellow pregnant woman jumped out of her car. "Oh my God. I don't know how to tell you this, but you have a HUGE rip in your skirt and your butt is completely exposed." Now I did notice a slight draft as I walked up to the office, and it did occur to me that my skirt was brushing against my calves in the back, but in no way shape or form did I think that I was mooning commuters on a main road in Hamilton. I did what anyone would do and reached around to feel how much exposure there was. Yup, my ENTIRE ass was sticking out. It was like someone took a razor blade and sliced the skirt right at the top of my butt. While I'm standing there feeling my own ass and wondering why I picked TODAY to go commando, the fellow prego was frantically searching her car for something I could put on. She ended up walking RIGHT behind me so I could get back to my car without mooning anyone else. Needless to say I ended up 30 minutes late for my appt and had to call and explain what the deal was.
When I got back to the office at 9:30, my doctor and his nurse had been told about "Carrie Krupa's Dilemma." My doctor walked in cracking up and said "Carr. Why would you NOT wear underwear with a skirt?!" I explained that I would never do that to go to Shoprite, but I figured there was nothing there HE hadn't seen before and that it wasn't a big deal.
It's still a mystery as to how the skirt ripped clear across the back. But it was an interesting start to my Monday. Just wondering how many kids on Dill & Alek's bus will be in therapy from seeing Mrs. Krupa's ass this morning.
CarrieAnn
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Hello everyone, So I've been busy, sick and trying to figure out how to create a new blog on this blogging website. It also doesn't help that I have not been in the working/computer world for 8+ years and have no knowledge of computer crap whatsoever.
What do hernia, tendinitis, bronchitis, broken blood vessel spots, diabetes, anemia, joint pain, sciatica, nausea, high blood pressure, swollen glands, swollen tongue, asthma and back pain all have in common? Yeah, you guessed it, they are all ailments that I have.
By the time June is here I will have been to an internist, a sonographer (not only for my belly, but for my neck), a chiropractor, an Obstetrician, a dietitian, a hematologist, an endocrinologist, a pulmonologist, a dentist, an oral surgeon, a general surgeon...well, you get the point. I've pretty much had it and I am convinced this pregnancy is going to kill me. I have never had so many ailments EVER. It could always be worse, but really I'm just not sure how much my body can take anymore. I've had a nasty cough for 2 days now that is only getting worse, and my iron levels are going down instead of up. But on the bright side, so far the baby is doing well. (Probably because she is sucking every single bit of life out of ME.) I really hope this isn't an indicator as to what my birth experience is going to be like. God help me. I pray that being the 4th, she just slips right out. However, I couldn't possibly be that lucky.
Tomorrow is Alek's 6th birthday! Woo Hoo...big shout out to my boy. However he was not getting a big shout-out on Sunday morning when he was busted trying to make a giant paper airplane out of Jake's school project poster board. Just a good thing he was caught before this house was meltdown central. But anyway, big shout out to my baby.
Trying to figure out what to eat has been interesting. I go to the dietitian on Thursday morning for some meal planning. Thursday cannot some soon enough. Little Snooki and I have been living on red leaf lettuce and Polly-O string cheese for 4 days now, oh, and hard boiled eggs. Let's not forget those. They make for some unforgettable evenings at bedtime. I think Alan is probably having a harder time with my diet change than I am. When you don't eat fish, chicken or meat, what's left? Pasta, rice, potatoes....what I've been eating the past 34 years of my life. Those are now all the things I am unable to have.
Anyway, this was purely a bitching blog. My belly is getting bigger, but I'm not really putting on any weight. Weird considering I gained 80, 65 & 40 pounds with the other 3 pregnancies. But like I said, so far the baby is doing okay. So I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone for my recent statuses. I've just been so bitchy and sick, and quite frankly my mother is the only one that doesn't seem to tire of hearing about it. Sorry guys. Hopefully come June I'll be sending out some more positive messages!
Love you all,
CarrieAnn
What do hernia, tendinitis, bronchitis, broken blood vessel spots, diabetes, anemia, joint pain, sciatica, nausea, high blood pressure, swollen glands, swollen tongue, asthma and back pain all have in common? Yeah, you guessed it, they are all ailments that I have.
By the time June is here I will have been to an internist, a sonographer (not only for my belly, but for my neck), a chiropractor, an Obstetrician, a dietitian, a hematologist, an endocrinologist, a pulmonologist, a dentist, an oral surgeon, a general surgeon...well, you get the point. I've pretty much had it and I am convinced this pregnancy is going to kill me. I have never had so many ailments EVER. It could always be worse, but really I'm just not sure how much my body can take anymore. I've had a nasty cough for 2 days now that is only getting worse, and my iron levels are going down instead of up. But on the bright side, so far the baby is doing well. (Probably because she is sucking every single bit of life out of ME.) I really hope this isn't an indicator as to what my birth experience is going to be like. God help me. I pray that being the 4th, she just slips right out. However, I couldn't possibly be that lucky.
Tomorrow is Alek's 6th birthday! Woo Hoo...big shout out to my boy. However he was not getting a big shout-out on Sunday morning when he was busted trying to make a giant paper airplane out of Jake's school project poster board. Just a good thing he was caught before this house was meltdown central. But anyway, big shout out to my baby.
Trying to figure out what to eat has been interesting. I go to the dietitian on Thursday morning for some meal planning. Thursday cannot some soon enough. Little Snooki and I have been living on red leaf lettuce and Polly-O string cheese for 4 days now, oh, and hard boiled eggs. Let's not forget those. They make for some unforgettable evenings at bedtime. I think Alan is probably having a harder time with my diet change than I am. When you don't eat fish, chicken or meat, what's left? Pasta, rice, potatoes....what I've been eating the past 34 years of my life. Those are now all the things I am unable to have.
Anyway, this was purely a bitching blog. My belly is getting bigger, but I'm not really putting on any weight. Weird considering I gained 80, 65 & 40 pounds with the other 3 pregnancies. But like I said, so far the baby is doing okay. So I'd like to take this opportunity to apologize to everyone for my recent statuses. I've just been so bitchy and sick, and quite frankly my mother is the only one that doesn't seem to tire of hearing about it. Sorry guys. Hopefully come June I'll be sending out some more positive messages!
Love you all,
CarrieAnn
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
As usual, issues of a bizarre nature continue to plague us. It's never anything simple like the dog ran away. No, our dog runs away and then gets brought home in the back of a police car. It's not "Mommy, Dillon took my pencil. Tell him to give it back." It's Dillon took my pencil so let me take this matter into my own hands and beat the hell out of him and then stab him in the hand with said pencil. It's not "Ma I forgot my lunch." It's "Ma, I forgot to e-mail my essay to my teacher so I need you to log onto every account on the computer and see where I saved the file and then e-mail it to my teacher. It won't take you long and you're not doing anything anyway." Anyway, you get the point.
This brings me to our new and exciting issue. About a month ago when we were getting hit with snowstorm after snowstorm Alan got up at 5:30 one morning to start the shoveling out process. He started in the backyard by our detached garage and was working his way up to the road. As he made his way to the front of the house he spotted a strange pickup truck parked in the shoulder across the street. Someone had gotten out of the truck and began walking towards the house, only to be surprised by Alan, and got back in the truck and sped away. Alan told me about the incident and then blew it off.
That night (a weeknight) about 10ish someone rang our doorbell multiple times, left us an empty Snapple bottle on the front porch and then took off. I really didn't think much of it. I was under the impression that it was the teenage girl next door fooling around and blew that off as well.
Fast forward about 10 days....Jake was up at 6 getting ready for school. He opened the front door and the same pickup that Alan had described was in our driveway. Apparently when Jake turned lights on and opened up the front door the truck took off. He ran frantically into my bedroom and proceeded to explain to Alan and I what had happened. Jake is known to embellish the truth a bit, so once again we just blew it off.
All was quiet around here for about 2 weeks. We chalked the truck up to being the newspaper guy and hadn't received anymore Snapple bottle gifts on our front porch. Until yesterday morning....
Jake was up getting ready for school. When he opened the front door to catch the bus he was greeted by a 2 -foot plastic Frankenstein doll. It was in a standing position and purposely put down so it would be facing whoever opened the front door first in the morning. Around 7:00 I went outside to get the paper and the doll was there laying face down on the front porch. I yelled inside to Alan asking him where the Frankenstein came from. Of course, he had no clue what I talking about.
When Jake got off the bus I interrogated him about where this thing came from. He thought the kids put it there to scare the hell out of him. Well, that wasn't the case. None of us had ever seen this doll before. I absolutely refused to bring the thing in the house. It sat on the front porch until 5:45 yesterday when Alan, Jake and Dillon were leaving for Basketball practice. Jake decided to kick the doll down the front porch steps. The second it hit the ground the top of the head popped open and a small note (written like a ransom letter mind you) popped out. This is exactly what it said PUSH MY BUTTON, TURN MY WHEEL, GUESS WHO.
So what do you think Jake and Alan did? I watched from the house in horror as they pushed the button on the arm of the doll. When they did that, 2 doors on the chest of it popped open revealing some gear-like things, a fake heart and some sort of internal speaker. (All of these things were basically supposed to be Frankenstein's guts.) When they tried to figure out how to get the thing to make noise the batteries had already been drained so you couldn't make out what it said. They put the doll down and went on their merry way to practice leaving me and Alek alone at the house wondering if the "Frankenstein/Snapple bottle bandit" was sitting somewhere watching the house.
I proceeded to do what any woman who is out of their mind would do. I called Chesterfield police to report what's been going on. Every cop in Chesterfield (all 2 of them) showed up at my front door like there was some kind of hostage situation in progress. I let them in and told them what's been going on. At one point my 5 year old chimed in "she thinks there's a bomb in Frankenstein." Yeah. Thanks for making me look even more nuts Alek.
I explained how I thought the opening of the doll's chest may have symbolized that my entire family was going to be gutted in the middle of the night. With our hi-tech security cameras down and the night watchman on vacation, I couldn't be too careful. I then asked them if they could take it to the station and dust it for fingerprints. (Yes. Really.) They said because Alan and Jake had also touched it that they would need to fingerprint them as well.
When Alan and Jake got back from practice I explained that I had called the police and that I made them take the note and the doll. The police chalked it up to me having a kid in high school and one of his "friends" trying to play a joke on him. I suppose this wouldn't be a far-fetched idea except that none of Jake's friends drive, and because our HS is regionalized and the townships are so spread out, someone would have to drive quite a distance in the middle of the night of early morning to get to our house. But, I'm not saying this isn't a possibility at all. Nevertheless Alan and Jake cracked up and made fun of me all night for calling the police to escort the battery-operated doll away.
About 9:00, while I lay in bed reading Jake continues the jokes and comes into my bedroom. He laid on my bed and just wouldn't knock it off. At which point I kindly reminded him that his bedroom is the one closest to the front porch and that he would probably be the first gutted. He continued to laugh, went into the litchen and made the sign that you see at the top of this blog. And yes, he taped it to the front door. Before he went to bed for the night I gently reminded him of when he and I watch "The Strangers", the movie that gave him nightmares for an entire week. I told him that when he's tied to a chair, writhing to get out of the position our Frankenstein bandit had put him in, that I'd just sit there and crack jokes.
Love you all,
CarrieAnn (there goes my "Mother of the Year" award once again)
This brings me to our new and exciting issue. About a month ago when we were getting hit with snowstorm after snowstorm Alan got up at 5:30 one morning to start the shoveling out process. He started in the backyard by our detached garage and was working his way up to the road. As he made his way to the front of the house he spotted a strange pickup truck parked in the shoulder across the street. Someone had gotten out of the truck and began walking towards the house, only to be surprised by Alan, and got back in the truck and sped away. Alan told me about the incident and then blew it off.
That night (a weeknight) about 10ish someone rang our doorbell multiple times, left us an empty Snapple bottle on the front porch and then took off. I really didn't think much of it. I was under the impression that it was the teenage girl next door fooling around and blew that off as well.
Fast forward about 10 days....Jake was up at 6 getting ready for school. He opened the front door and the same pickup that Alan had described was in our driveway. Apparently when Jake turned lights on and opened up the front door the truck took off. He ran frantically into my bedroom and proceeded to explain to Alan and I what had happened. Jake is known to embellish the truth a bit, so once again we just blew it off.
All was quiet around here for about 2 weeks. We chalked the truck up to being the newspaper guy and hadn't received anymore Snapple bottle gifts on our front porch. Until yesterday morning....
Jake was up getting ready for school. When he opened the front door to catch the bus he was greeted by a 2 -foot plastic Frankenstein doll. It was in a standing position and purposely put down so it would be facing whoever opened the front door first in the morning. Around 7:00 I went outside to get the paper and the doll was there laying face down on the front porch. I yelled inside to Alan asking him where the Frankenstein came from. Of course, he had no clue what I talking about.
When Jake got off the bus I interrogated him about where this thing came from. He thought the kids put it there to scare the hell out of him. Well, that wasn't the case. None of us had ever seen this doll before. I absolutely refused to bring the thing in the house. It sat on the front porch until 5:45 yesterday when Alan, Jake and Dillon were leaving for Basketball practice. Jake decided to kick the doll down the front porch steps. The second it hit the ground the top of the head popped open and a small note (written like a ransom letter mind you) popped out. This is exactly what it said PUSH MY BUTTON, TURN MY WHEEL, GUESS WHO.
So what do you think Jake and Alan did? I watched from the house in horror as they pushed the button on the arm of the doll. When they did that, 2 doors on the chest of it popped open revealing some gear-like things, a fake heart and some sort of internal speaker. (All of these things were basically supposed to be Frankenstein's guts.) When they tried to figure out how to get the thing to make noise the batteries had already been drained so you couldn't make out what it said. They put the doll down and went on their merry way to practice leaving me and Alek alone at the house wondering if the "Frankenstein/Snapple bottle bandit" was sitting somewhere watching the house.
I proceeded to do what any woman who is out of their mind would do. I called Chesterfield police to report what's been going on. Every cop in Chesterfield (all 2 of them) showed up at my front door like there was some kind of hostage situation in progress. I let them in and told them what's been going on. At one point my 5 year old chimed in "she thinks there's a bomb in Frankenstein." Yeah. Thanks for making me look even more nuts Alek.
I explained how I thought the opening of the doll's chest may have symbolized that my entire family was going to be gutted in the middle of the night. With our hi-tech security cameras down and the night watchman on vacation, I couldn't be too careful. I then asked them if they could take it to the station and dust it for fingerprints. (Yes. Really.) They said because Alan and Jake had also touched it that they would need to fingerprint them as well.
When Alan and Jake got back from practice I explained that I had called the police and that I made them take the note and the doll. The police chalked it up to me having a kid in high school and one of his "friends" trying to play a joke on him. I suppose this wouldn't be a far-fetched idea except that none of Jake's friends drive, and because our HS is regionalized and the townships are so spread out, someone would have to drive quite a distance in the middle of the night of early morning to get to our house. But, I'm not saying this isn't a possibility at all. Nevertheless Alan and Jake cracked up and made fun of me all night for calling the police to escort the battery-operated doll away.
About 9:00, while I lay in bed reading Jake continues the jokes and comes into my bedroom. He laid on my bed and just wouldn't knock it off. At which point I kindly reminded him that his bedroom is the one closest to the front porch and that he would probably be the first gutted. He continued to laugh, went into the litchen and made the sign that you see at the top of this blog. And yes, he taped it to the front door. Before he went to bed for the night I gently reminded him of when he and I watch "The Strangers", the movie that gave him nightmares for an entire week. I told him that when he's tied to a chair, writhing to get out of the position our Frankenstein bandit had put him in, that I'd just sit there and crack jokes.
Love you all,
CarrieAnn (there goes my "Mother of the Year" award once again)
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