My husband tells me I'm negative, but I refer to myself as "realistically optimistic".
I'll bet you didn't know that I'm bilingual. Yes, I speak English and Sarcasm fluently.
I've never been one to make a good first impression. Just ask my brother-in-law, and my sister-in-law, and my other brother-in-law, my other 2 sister-in-laws and the other 3 brother-in-laws. I'm not a wishy-washy, make small talk and exchange pleasantries kind of girl. I actually despise meeting new people because I feel I should go into the 1st meeting knowing all of their deepest darkest secrets. I probably come off as cold and unfriendly, or dare I say SHY?!
I never had issues with social awkwardness as a child or teenager. However as I've gotten older, I feel like I'd rather cut through all the awkward meet & greets and just jump right into polishing off a bottle of wine with you and hearing about the skeletons in your closet. Really. Aside from "Hi. Nice to meet you", I don't want to hear about all the rain we've been having. Ask me how much I weigh. Ask me why Jake has a different father than the rest of the kids. Ask me why I'm acting like my daughter isn't laying in between screaming while we try to exchange pleasantries. See? Realistic Optimism right there.
There were 2 things that brought on this whole thought process for me:
1) My mother said to me the other day "God, have you turned into Nana or what?!"
2) I found all of my little Alek-burn updates from when he was in the hospital.
Now to address #1...my grandmother (Nana) was a wonderful person. It just so happens, she hated everyone and everything. She hated musicals, she hated the beach, she hated traveling, she hated people who weren't blood related, sometimes she even hated the people that WERE blood related. She hated her car, she hated her doctors, she hated that I didn't come over enough, then she'd hate it when I would come over too much....blah blah blah. She was as wonderful as she was grumpy, which actually made her very entertaining. So I'm going to take that comment from my mom as a compliment.
As for #2....Jake got accepted for a peer leadership program for seniors. He had a weekend retreat (yesterday/today). Each peer leader had to bring something to share about a particularly difficult time in their life. (At least that's what Jake told me). He wanted to bring a hospital picture of Alek from January of 2009. I was okay with that and I'm all for teenagers showing their vulnerability (COME BACK DOWN TO EARTH AND JOIN THE REST OF US). Anyway, I told him I kept a little diary of updates on FB and I'd see if I could find them and print them out for him to share. They are short, but you may get the point of why reading these after 4 years made me analyze some of my "realistic optimism"....
Alek-Tuesday
Well Alan went home tonight for the first time. Luckily I have my laptop here now, so.....
Alek woke up looking better this morning. In spite of the swelling and oozing, he looked soooo much better to Alan and I. He got a visit from Alan's parents and my brother. While Alan's parents were here the occupational therapist came in. She brought some toys for him to play with so we could get him moving and help speed up his recovery. Alek, me, Alan and Alan's parents, along with the entourage of plastic surgeons and doctors and nurses, watched Alek WALK into the room wear he gets his facial scrubs. He was slow and steady, but SO AMAZING. There are no burns on the lower half of his body but he is VERY stiff all over for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, he did need to get a feeding tube today. They stitched it to his face (yes really), but he is now getting the nutrition he needs to speed up his recovery. He starts physical therapy tomorrow around 3:00 and will continue to need it for about 16 months:( The speech therapist also came to see him tonight. His lips are swelled and were badly burned, so we need to make sure it doesn't affect his speech. Soooo much goes into this behind the scenes, it truly is overwhelming at times. But overall, Alek's prognosis remains positive and we are getting him out of his room for more wagon rides. Thanks for all your prayers.
Alek woke up looking better this morning. In spite of the swelling and oozing, he looked soooo much better to Alan and I. He got a visit from Alan's parents and my brother. While Alan's parents were here the occupational therapist came in. She brought some toys for him to play with so we could get him moving and help speed up his recovery. Alek, me, Alan and Alan's parents, along with the entourage of plastic surgeons and doctors and nurses, watched Alek WALK into the room wear he gets his facial scrubs. He was slow and steady, but SO AMAZING. There are no burns on the lower half of his body but he is VERY stiff all over for obvious reasons. Unfortunately, he did need to get a feeding tube today. They stitched it to his face (yes really), but he is now getting the nutrition he needs to speed up his recovery. He starts physical therapy tomorrow around 3:00 and will continue to need it for about 16 months:( The speech therapist also came to see him tonight. His lips are swelled and were badly burned, so we need to make sure it doesn't affect his speech. Soooo much goes into this behind the scenes, it truly is overwhelming at times. But overall, Alek's prognosis remains positive and we are getting him out of his room for more wagon rides. Thanks for all your prayers.
Alek update-Wed
It seems like Alek is looking a bit more like himself everyday. The plastic surgeon recommends that Alan and I start coming in the procedure room for his scrubs and dressing changes.Neither of us are looking forward to being there for that, but we have to see what's in store for us once we get home. The plastic surgeon remains optimistic for a full recovery with little to no scarring. He still isn't eating much,but eats a little bit more everyday. He went for his first physical therapy session today. Dillon was here with Alan and he was able to participate in the therapy. It was amazing to see my little wrapped mummy throwing a basketball into a hoop! Alan and I pretty much cried the whole time (happy tears). We were walking around the hospital most of the day (Alek rode in the wagon). Just getting him out of his room all day was good therapy for all of us. We have high hopes for getting out of here by the middle of next week. Keep those prayers coming;)
Alek update-Thurs
Quick one tonight...I am exhausted.
We went into the procedure room today fro Alek's scrub and dressing change. The plastic surgeon said her turned a corner last night by eating and "playing" basketball in physical therapy. He still can't do too much and his wounds are healing well. Doc said he sees 2 to 4 more days max. He res and raw, but I CAN'T WAIT to get him home! Thanks again for the prayers!
So after NOT reading these for 4 years, and re-living those days in my head CONSTANTLY, I had no idea that it was in me to ever be that POSITIVE. When I think about all those days spent in the ICU burn unit, I remember all of the HORRIBLE things. Reading these posts made me smile, cry and think about about the strength I must've had to have written such positive updates when I didn't know what God had in store for us. When I look at the pictures, I feel incredibly hopeless, but when I read these posts that I wrote, I guess I was optimistic and had faith all along. At the bottom of this post I am putting up Alek's hospital pics. If you have a problem with that, don't scroll down. But just so you know, I DO have it in me to be positive. Just don't try to small talk me and we're all good!
Pictures came up out of order, but I captioned them. I still want to thank every single person for their kind words, meals they made, snow shoveling and hospital visits...and of course the countless cards, toys and love for my boy. <3 Now if I could put a positive spin on THIS, who is ANYONE to say I'm negative.
We went into the procedure room today fro Alek's scrub and dressing change. The plastic surgeon said her turned a corner last night by eating and "playing" basketball in physical therapy. He still can't do too much and his wounds are healing well. Doc said he sees 2 to 4 more days max. He res and raw, but I CAN'T WAIT to get him home! Thanks again for the prayers!
So after NOT reading these for 4 years, and re-living those days in my head CONSTANTLY, I had no idea that it was in me to ever be that POSITIVE. When I think about all those days spent in the ICU burn unit, I remember all of the HORRIBLE things. Reading these posts made me smile, cry and think about about the strength I must've had to have written such positive updates when I didn't know what God had in store for us. When I look at the pictures, I feel incredibly hopeless, but when I read these posts that I wrote, I guess I was optimistic and had faith all along. At the bottom of this post I am putting up Alek's hospital pics. If you have a problem with that, don't scroll down. But just so you know, I DO have it in me to be positive. Just don't try to small talk me and we're all good!
Pictures came up out of order, but I captioned them. I still want to thank every single person for their kind words, meals they made, snow shoveling and hospital visits...and of course the countless cards, toys and love for my boy. <3 Now if I could put a positive spin on THIS, who is ANYONE to say I'm negative.
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| The day it happened |
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| Leaving the hospital!!!! |
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| few days in...just after feeding tube was removed |